Why Gujjus do good in any field..

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe.


5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kantibhai Shah.

Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.

2000 people leave the room.

Kantibhai says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose
if I stay. I'll give it a try'

Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than
100 people may leave.

2000 people leave the room.

Kantibhai says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I
have nothing to lose if I stay.
What can happen to me?' So he stays.

Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.

500 people leave the room.

Kantibhai says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to
lose?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat
to leave.

498 people leave the room.

Kantibhai says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat
but what do I have to lose?'
So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate.
Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two
candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a
conversation together in that language.'

Calmly, Kantibhai turns to the other candidate and says `kem chho'

The other candidate answers 'ek dam majama'


So NEVER GIVE UP..... MAKE UR FULL EFFORTS,,,,,

Dynamism in Life

Over the years man has done a lot in various aspects. be it in science, commerce, management etc.but the rate of doing this 'lot' has been slower in our social set-up.

Today woamen are more empowered. People have the right of sexual preferences. Some nations are realising the necessity of democracy. There are a few to name a few. But how superficial. still!! By this i mean changes right down upto the foundation of the society are needed. Man needs to be dynamic to progress; and dynamism needs free space. In rigid framework, man looses his ability to think beyond horizons. Life becomes mundane. In a sense, man causes to live.

There is this foundation of motivation, and creativity in each one of us, and we all must try to bring it out. Not because it it is beneficial for the society, but it was what we were created for. This way life is purpose driven.

The human mind is God's greatest creation. It is the ultimate gift we have. Chain it and you die. Free it and you attain enlightenment.Each man lives and works according to his own mental faculties. He owns his life and must accomplish his specific purpose that he has come to do on this earth. freedom is the greatest virtue human mind posseses.

No wonder, America, with the freest of all the social- set ups is the world's wealthiest nation. When people achieving their dreams, they think of this nation. It also has that statue of liberty. No favouritism here please...

"The Indian as an individial has in evry field across the world, including business, demostrated innovation and origionality, But as a society and communities, India is among the world's least innovatives. This contract between
achievemnt of individual and business and the continuing rot of india as society can destroy us all. india needs to become innovative at the social level. Combine this with innovative abilities of individuals and business - and India could reach a
strategic inflection point that finally puts it on a path that lifts millions to a life without lack."

Music

Music eh? Well I guess the best way to write about music is to try and define what different kinds of music there are. A stupid thing to try to do? Probably. I’m sure many artists out there would scoff at the idea that their ‘unique sound’ could be easily compartmentalized in a neat and tidy category. Well, they’re not here and chances area they won’t be reading this. Anyway, here is my best shot at defining what kinds of music people listen too. If you object, if you think that I’ve omitted anything just let me know and you can sign onto the site and write whatever you want to. Seriously.

Types of Music:

Classical

Why start with classical? Well, I guess that’s where people expect you to start. Many people think that music was pretty much perfected several centuries ago and everything since is crap. Well those people are crap. Classical music is complex and layered and beautiful but it is not spontaneous. Spontaneity is very important in music I think.

Tribal

People always seem to think that music only goes back as far as classical music, but obviously tribal music has been around for much longer. In many ways it is the best music out there. It is spontaneous, emotive, danceable and easy to make. Go tribal music!

Hip Hop

Hip Hop is the newest form of music out there and so far we have only seen the tip of the iceberg in terms of its capabilities. People often call Jazz the only American Art form…I would tend to agree with this but Hip Hop is a close second place. Beats, Rhymes, Life…what else could you want? Some bling perhaps…well there is also plenty of that, but for real, who gives a F%#K about that stuff.

Blues

Bands that play the blues are usually not very good. The blues are a personal thing, and should usually be played by some guy who is very ugly and is half full of whiskey. Without this how can you have the blues…can good-looking people get the blues? They can, but they have to be on heroin.

Rock

It is very hard to argue with Rock & Roll. In many ways it is a lot like Christianity. It involves icon with long hair, and people have been predicting and attempting to initiate its demise since it began. But like Christianity Rock seems here to stay for a little while anyway. So every time a young man picks up a guitar and preaches the gospel of rock it will survive.

Jazz

As was mentioned before, Jazz is the only true American art form. Improvisational, cool, sexy, angry, sad, happy, jazz has it all, and nobody can touch jazz for its amalgam of styles and variations. If music is alive jazz is the air that music breathes.

Alternative

What is alternative anyway. Basically it’s whatever will be popular after what is popular now, is no longer popular. So the next time you go into a club and see some gay vegetarian pressed up against a microphone pushing buttons ironically just think that you are looking at the future.

Dance

Dance music is music for people who don’t know anything about music. This is perfectly all right though, because dance music is for dancing, not for contemplating. A good dance track gets into your core and possesses you. A bad dance track is what they play when you are waiting to get into hell.

Country

Country gets a bad rep, but there isn’t a more humble, fun loving and sincere brand of music out there. Basically it is story telling and if you don’t like a good story you probably have no soul. And if you have no soul, enjoy your bad dance music.

Folk

Folk is supposed to be the music of the people. Something that everyone can relate to via some sort of common experience. Lately this meaning has been perverted to mean that one has to play an acoustic guitar to play folk. This is crap. If you have something to say and you want to put music to your thoughts, that is folk.

Rap Music

Rap music is a creation of an American minority. It was widely believed the rap music, as a fad will not see the test of time…. But it has already been around for nearly 20 years. Rap music can be traced to the West African professional singers and storytellers. Rap music was an offshoot of the Hip Hop culture – characterized by graffiti and break dancing. Rap music has been influenced considerably by Jamaican music. The Bronx in New York City was the originating hub of rap music.

Metal Music

Metal music emerged post World War II. Metal music was described as music that arises from the dissatisfied. Metal music is heavily influenced by the structure of the songs. While in rock music, songwriting is based within a form; in metal music the central melody decides the structure of the song. A scientist has described metal music as ‘information music’.

Trance Music

Trance Music is generally played in the club houses and dance floors of discos. Trance Music was developed in the early quarters of the 20th century. The tempo of Trance Music is fast. It is often dubbed as electronic art music. It acquired its name from the repetitious beats of the percussions. The name trance gets from the state of trance of mind in the process of listening to the musical beats. Trance Music can also be termed as the music of the inner cities of America. The influences of Klaus Schulze have popularized the Trance Music. Trance Music is said to be a product of post industrial cultural shifts.

It casts a hypnotic spell on the listeners. It is due to this particular reason; Trance Music is associated with drugs. Similar to drugs, the Trance Music takes you in the world of numbness. Trance Music is often related to the neo- hippie culture of the occidental societies. Trance Music is a rebel against the established orthodox political and social systems. It is form of music that supports peace, love and personal freedom. It refutes the "big-brother" of George Orwell. Trance Music incorporates "Acid Trance" by Hardfloor and Eternal Basement; "Anthem Trance" by Blank and Jones, Speed and so on; "Classic Trance" by Dance to trance and Jam and Spoon and many more. Trance Music can be amazing gifts for the people who has a preference for Trance Music.

Beauty of Mathematics !!!!!!!

Absolutely amazing!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321



1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111



9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888



Brilliant, isn't it?



And look at this symmetry:



1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321

Height of Recession

Doobte hue aadmi ne
Pull par chalte hue aadmi ko
Aawaz lagayi "bachao bachao"
Pull par chalte aadmi ne neeche
Rassi fenki aur kaha aaoo....

Nadi mein dobta hua aadmi
Rassi nahi pakad pa raha tha
Rah rah kar chillaa raha tha
Mein marna nahi chahta
Zindagi badi mehengi hai
Kal hi to meri ek MNC mein naukri lagi hai..

Itna sunte hi pul par chalte
Aadmi ne apni rassi kheench li
Aur bhagte bhagte wo MNC gaya
Usne wahan ke HR ko bataya ki
Abhi abhi ek aadmi doobkar mar gaya hai
Aur is tarah aapki company mein
Ek jagah khali kar gaya hai...

Mein berozgaar hoon muje le lo...
HR boli dost tumne aane me der kar di,
ab se kuch der Pehle humne us aadmi ko lagaya hai
Jo usse dhakka de kar tumse pehle yahan aaya hai !!!

DIFFERENCE AMONG C.V. BIODATA AND RESUME

People use the words RESUME, C.V., and BIO-DATA interchangeably for the document highlighting skills, education, and experience that a candidate submits when applying for a job. On the surface level, all the three mean the same. However, there are intricate differences.

RESUME
Resume Is a French word meaning "summary", and true to the word meaning, signifies a summary of one's employment, education, and other skills, used in applying for a new position. A resume seldom exceeds one side of an A4 sheet, and at the most two sides. They do not list out all the education and qualifications, but only highlight specific skills customized to target the job profile in question.
A resume is usually broken into bullets and written in the third person to appear objective and formal. A good resume starts with a brief Summary of Qualifications, followed by Areas of Strength or Industry Expertise in keywords, followed by Professional Experience in reverse chronological order. Focus is on the most recent experiences, and prior experiences summarized. The content aims at providing the reader a balance of responsibilities and accomplishments for each position. After
Work experience come Professional Affiliations, Computer Skills, and
Education

C.V CURRICULUM VITAE

C.V Is a Latin word meaning "course of life". Curriculum Vitae (C.V.) is therefore a regular or particular course of study pertaining to education and life. A C.V. is more detailed than a resume, usually 2 to 3 pages, but can run even longer as per the requirement. A C.V. generally lists out every skills, jobs, degrees, and professional
affiliations the applicant has acquired, usually in chronological order. A C.V. displays general talent rather than specific skills for any specific positions.

BIO-DATA
Bio Data the short form for Biographical Data, is the old-fashioned terminology for Resume or C.V. The emphasis in a bio data is on personal particulars like date of birth, religion, sex, race, nationality, residence, martial status, and the like. Next comes a chronological listing of education and experience. The things normally found in a resume, that is specific skills for the job in question comes last, and
are seldom included. Bio-data also includes applications made in specified formats as required by the company.

A resume is ideally suited when applying for middle and senior level positions, where experience and specific skills rather than education is important. A C.V., on the other hand is the preferred option for fresh graduates, people looking for a career change, and those applying for academic positions. The term bio-data is mostly used in India while applying to government jobs, or when applying for research grants and other situations where one has to submit descriptive essays.

Resumes present a summary of highlights and allow the prospective employer to scan through the document visually or electronically, to see if your skills match their available positions. A good resume can do that very effectively, while a C.V. cannot. A bio-data could still perform this role, especially if the format happens to be the one
recommended by the employer.

Personal information such as age, sex, religion and others, and hobbies are never mentioned in a resume. Many people include such particulars in the C.V. However, this is neither required nor considered in the US market.. A Bio-data, on the other hand always include such personal

Six Suspect

There's a caste system even in murder. Seven years ago, Vivek 'Vicky' Rai, the playboy son of the Home Minister of Uttar Pradesh, murdered Ruby Gill at a trendy restaurant in New Delhi simply because she refused to serve him a drink. Now Vicky Rai is dead, killed at his farmhouse at a party he had thrown to celebrate his acquittal. The police search each and every guest. Six of them are discovered with guns in their possession. In this elaborate murder mystery we join Arun Advani, India's best-known investigative journalist, as the lives of these six suspects unravel before our eyes: a corrupt bureaucrat; an American tourist; a stone-age tribesman; a Bollywood sex symbol; a mobile phone thief; and an ambitious politician. Each is equally likely to have pulled the trigger. Inspired by actual events, Vikas Swarup's eagerly awaited second novel is both a riveting page turner and an insightful peek into the heart and soul of contemporary India.

I was super keen to read this after thoroughly enjoying Q&A. The premise of the story is decent, but the style ends up making the read disappointingly disjointed (although I love what he was trying, it simply didn't work for me). The one thing I did find especially entertaining was how the Indian author wrote the American character :) He uses as many cliches as possible (or at least I hope they were cliches!). It's a decent read, but no where near as brilliant as I thought his first novel was ...

and I was disappointed too by the fact that although the ending tries to tie it all up (and sorta dos in a fairly unexpected way), he didn't "complete the story" of all the characters, only the neccessary few to find out whodunnit.

ps. who knew that the author, Vikas Swarup, was India's Deputy High Commissioner to South Africa?

The White Tiger

Balram Halwai, narrator of The White Tiger, is not going to let a lack of education keep him in the dark. He is heading for glory in India's bright future. He will be one of those who stuffs cash into brown envelopes for policemen and politicians, and not just another victim

Aravind Adiga's first novel is couched as a cocksure confession from a deceitful, murderous philosopher runt who has the brass neck to question his lowly place in the order of things.
His disrespect for his elders and betters is shocking - even Mahatma Gandhi gets the lash of his scornful tongue.
Balram has worked out early in life that good deeds usually have awful consequences. This is because he, along with most lowly Indians, inhabits the Darkness, a place where basic necessities are routinely snatched by the wealthy, who live in the Light.
He gets a lucky break when he learns to handle a car, then lands a job as driver for a landlord from his village. He has the voice of what may, or may not, be a new India: quick-witted, half-baked, self-mocking, and quick to seize an advantage. He happily abuses religious foibles and hatreds of others where it suits, dispatching a rival driver to destitution via a little anti-Muslim prejudice.
There is much to commend in this novel, a witty parable of India's changing society, yet there is much to ponder. The scales have fallen from the eyes of some Indian writers, many either living abroad, or educated there like Adiga.
The home country is invariably presented as a place of brutal injustice and sordid corruption, one in which the poor are always dispossessed and victimised by their age-old enemies, the rich. Characters at the colourful extremities of society are Dickensian grotesques, Phiz sketches, adrift in a country that is lurching rapidly towards bland middle-class normality.
My hunch is this is fundamentally an outsider's view and a superficial one. There are so many alternative Indias, uncontacted and unheard. Adiga is an interesting talent. I hope he will immerse himself deeper in that country, then go on to greater things.

Why Bill Gates SOLD OFF Microsoft..!! Extreme funny..

Letter is from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft
Subject: Problems with my new computer

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some
problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run' he ran up to Amritsar ! So, we request you to change that to 'sit', so that we can click that by sitting.

3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find'
button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

5. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

6. I brought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?

7. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

9. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

10. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God shake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Regards,
Banta

Last one from me to Mr Bill Gates :

Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?

How to ask your Boss for a salary increase..?

One day an employee sends a letter to Her boss asking for an increase in her salary !!!

Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing$ mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of your worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to our company.
I am $ure you will gue $$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

$incerely Your$,
$andeep

The next day, the employee received a nice reply like this :

Dear $andeep
I kNOw what you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet .

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNO mists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean .

Yours truly,
Manager

Award winning joke

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are extremely mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.
The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children,so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.
So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the reacher in the afternoon. The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?" The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!" Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's
face and bellowed, "Where is God?!"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "what happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied,
"We are in BIG trouble this time.

("I just LOVE reading next line again and again")

GOD is missing, and they think we did it!!!!!!!!!

Swami Vivekananda's StunninG WordS...!!!!!

When I Asked God for Strength
He Gave Me Difficult Situations to Face

When I Asked God for Brain & Brown
He Gave Me Puzzles in life to Solve

When I Asked God for Happiness
He Showed Me Some Unhappy People

When I Asked God for Wealth
He Showed Me How to Work Hard

When I Asked God for Favors
He Showed Me opportunities to Work Hard

When I Asked God for Peace
He Showed Me How to Help Others

God Gave Me Nothing I Wanted
He Gave Me Everything I Needed

- Swami Vivekananda

Marketing Concept.. must be clear !!

A Professor at one of da IIM's (INDIA) was explaining marketing concepts to da Students:-

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am
very rich. Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very
rich. Marry him." - That's Advertising


3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her
telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich.
Marry me." - That's Telemarketing

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten
your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of
the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and
then say:"By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - That's
Public Relations

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and
says: "You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am
very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. -
That's Customer Feedback

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am
very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - That's
demand and supply gap

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you
say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you
marry me?" and she goes with him - That's competition eating into your
market share

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you
say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - That's restriction for
entering new markets

Software Ads on Durdarshan

"The man , The Machine, The Software - PeopleSoft VII"

Boy - "I am a PB boy"
Girl - "I am a PB gal"
"Badte bacho ke liye complete software - Powerbuilder"

"Eat bugs, Sleep bugs.....Do only debugs"

Internet Programmer - "I got the ASP power , now u go get it!!!"

"Microsoft office - Nothing official about it !!!"

" Software ki raksha karta hein Norton Anti virus.... Software hai jaha, Norton Antivirus hein vaha..."

Project Manager - I want the code today....
Programmer - 2 minutes
"Programmer ka kaam kare asaan, Duniya bhar me hai iski shaan...VB....VB.....VB"

Progect Manager - "Power objects is the secret of my programs"
Programmers - "Our programs"

Husband - Thak gaya hoon mein
Wife gives him instant coffee and says
To create instant miracle....Use Oracle !

Jeffrey Archer's "Not a penny more, not a penny less" is drafted on a great concept and story line is short, simple and keeps the reader interested through out.

Plot

One clever mastermind and self made millionaire, Harvey Metcalf turns from jobless young boy to multi millionaire in a very short span all with his own clever tactics, both legal and illegal. In the process he cheats several people in several ways. Four of his victims, who lost their lifetime money in a stock market scam masterminded by Harvey Metcalf team up and decide to beat Harvey in his own game. They draft ideas, finalize plans and work as a team to recover every penny they lost to Harvey including the expenses incurred while recovering the same. First hal of the novel is about Harvey's legal and illegal activities (which made him millionaire) and the rest is all about how those four men recovered their money

I did like reading the novel and finished it in 2 nights, some 4 hours each.

However I have spotted following weak points in the story line:
1. Stephen Bradley and team (victims of Harvey's Prospecta Oil scam ) were to recover every penny they lost; not a penny more, not a penny less. But while they return from James wedding they were still around 1.24 $ short. Is that not a deviation from their principle?

2. They successfully duped a Nobel laureate, a world famous Doctor, university Vice chancellor and a world famous painting. In real life it is very much unlikely that this amount of impersonation will go undetected

3. There was no counter plan by Harvey or anyone else while these men were cheating him. Had Harvey detected that he is being cheated and had there been some counter strategies the novel would have been more interesting to read. The story goes almost one sided.

4. The first Para of the novel says Harvey managed to earn a million illegally, legally and even managed to retain it. But since he lost his money to four of his victims, I'm wondering how is this sentence is justified

5. End of the novel: Prospecta prices soar again and those who bought Prospecta shares are now rich people. Stephen and team got more money than they had lost...Again a deviation from title...

6. When James tells the secret to Anne or when he finds that Anne and Rosaline are same I was expecting this will backfire to their plan at some point (as it happens in Bollywood movies) but nothing happened as such. Rosa ended up being a silent witness to these four men robbing her dad (She even arranged $250000, may be all out of her love for James and in appreciation of these four men's efforts)

7. In Monte Carlo, when Harvey becomes ill (due to powder mixed in his coffee) and Harvey's driver demands "Where are you taking my boss?" Stephen tells "We're taking him to hospital; you go back to Yatch..." Why no one suspected "How did Stephen know about Yatch"?

What I liked

Still I like the novel for following reasons

1. Tells you about stock market scams: How some people mastermind scams, manipulate share prices, make money and render several small scale investors penniless in the process

2. Never give up. If you loose something there ought to be a way to get it back. The spirit of Stephen Bradley and his team is highly motivating experience

3. Simple, straight forward narration and not a lengthy novel. Makes interesting reading through out.

Complex poor joke

Question:Whatz a PJ ?
Answer: Obviously "a poor joke"
Question: Whatz a (P + i J)?
Answer: "complex poor joke"
But why don't people laugh on a "complex poor joke" ?
.
.
.
.
.
Ans: Bcoz the joke part of it is imaginary.

Sardarji Interviews....

INTERVIEWER : Tell Me Opposite Of GOOD .

Sardar : BAD

INTERVIEWER : COME ??

Sardar : GO

INTERVIEWER : UGLY?

Sardar : PICHLLI

INTERVIEWER : U-G-L-Y ?

Sardar : PICHLLI

INTERVIEWER : SHUT UP

Sardar : KEEP TALKING

INTERVIEWER : GET OUT

Sardar : COME IN

INTERVIEWER : OH MY GOD

Sardar : OH YOUR DEVIL

INTERVIEWER : U R REJECTED

Sardar : I M SELECTED

Balle Balle !!!

Strong teeth & Fresh breath !!

Do u want strong teeth & fresh breath ?????????


Try this ::::: Go to your main gate and than call me on my cell. Try this for atleast 2 weeks for better results.

Reason :::: When u try the above activity ur teeth will find that u r doing "colgate" !!!

Deadly maths shayari...enjoy

sin (theta) upon cos (theta) = tan (theta)....
sin (theta) upon cos (theta) = tan (theta).........



tan ki shakti man ki shakti bornvita !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marketing

WAT WOULD U CALL A GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO USED TO KILL PEOPLE AND THEN RING A BELL ON THEM........????





ANS:- MAR-KE-TING (MARKETING)

Pepe jeans

why r the rates of pepe jeans accessories high?????????????????/




coz its "pay pay" jeans...to have to pay double...lol

Ulimate mindcracker

Arz kiya hai!!!!
Tere pyaar mein paagal ho gaya peter...
Tere pyaar mein paagal ho gaya peter...
Hero Honda assi(80) km prati litre!!!

It's Cricket time...

Two batsmen each on 94 Runs. 7 Runs needed to win from 3 balls. Both make unbeaten 100 Runs.
HOW? This challenging question was asked in infosys interview. Try it out.

Calendar 1752

I was shocked looking at this. Aren't u?

Have u ever seen the calendar for September 1752??


If you are working in Unix, try this out.
At $ prompt, type: cal 9 1752

Surprised??? ?

not only in Unix, u can also search it in Google

See the explanation for what you see.
.
.
.


Isn't the output queer? A month with whole of eleven days missing. This was the time England shifted from Roman Julian Calendar to the Gregorian Calendar, and the king of England ordered those 11 days to be wiped off the face of the month of September of 1752. (What couldn't a King do in those days?!) And yes, the workers worked for 11 days less, but got paid for the entire 30 days. And that's how "Paid Leave" was born.Hail the King!!!

BALANCE SHEET OF LIFE

Our Birth is our Opening Balance!
Our Death is our Closing Balance!
Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities
Our Creative Ideas are our Assets

Heart is our Current Asset
Soul is our Fixed Asset
Brain is our Fixed Deposit
Thinking is our Current Account

Achievements are our Capital
Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade
Friends are our General Reserves
Values & Behavior are our Goodwill
Patience is our Interest Earned
Love is our Dividend
Children are our Bonus Issues
Education is Brands / Patents

Knowledge is our Investment
Experience is our Premium Account
The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet Accurately.
The Goal is to get the Best Presented Accounts Award.

Some very Good and Very bad things ...
The most destructive habit........ .......... ......Worry
The greatest Joy......... .......... ........... ....Giving
The greatest loss........Loss of self-respect

The most satisfying work........ ......Helping others
The ugliest personality trait....... .....Selfishness Error! Filename not specified.
The most endangered species..... ...Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource.... ......... ..Our youth

The greatest 'shot in the arm'........ Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome.... ......... ..Fear
The most effective sleeping pill....... Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease...... .......Excuses

The most powerful force in life......... ........... Love
The most dangerous act...... .A gossip
The world's most incredible computer.... .....The brain
The worst thing to be without..... ......... ..... Hope

The deadliest weapon...... ........ ........The tongue
The two most power-filled words....... ........ 'I Can'
The greatest asset........ ........... ........ ....Faith
The most worthless emotion.... .......... ....Self- pity

The most beautiful attire...... .......... ........SMILE!
The most prized possession.. ......... ......Integrity
The most powerful channel of communication. ...Prayer
The most contagious spirit....... ......... ......Enthusiasm

Life ends; when you stop Dreaming,
Hope ends; when you stop Believing,
Love ends; when you stop Caring,
And Friendship ends; when you stop Sharing...!!!

I bet u will laugh...

Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.

SCENE: The Oval Office. George Bush and Condolezza Rice.
George: Condi! Nice to see you What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Let's hear it.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I''m asking you Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu..
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu
George: The Chinese?
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya?asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well,I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That''s the man's name.
George: That's whose name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes sir.
George: Yassir? You mean arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. I bet he knows.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.. and then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: Call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N .?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: and stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N!
Condi: Kofi?
George: all right! Light with sugar. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice here..
George: Rice? Good idea. and a couple of egg rolls,too.

Make Your CV like this ...