Marketing Concept.. must be clear !!

A Professor at one of da IIM's (INDIA) was explaining marketing concepts to da Students:-

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am
very rich. Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very
rich. Marry him." - That's Advertising


3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her
telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich.
Marry me." - That's Telemarketing

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten
your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of
the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and
then say:"By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - That's
Public Relations

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and
says: "You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am
very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. -
That's Customer Feedback

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am
very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - That's
demand and supply gap

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you
say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you
marry me?" and she goes with him - That's competition eating into your
market share

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you
say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - That's restriction for
entering new markets

Software Ads on Durdarshan

"The man , The Machine, The Software - PeopleSoft VII"

Boy - "I am a PB boy"
Girl - "I am a PB gal"
"Badte bacho ke liye complete software - Powerbuilder"

"Eat bugs, Sleep bugs.....Do only debugs"

Internet Programmer - "I got the ASP power , now u go get it!!!"

"Microsoft office - Nothing official about it !!!"

" Software ki raksha karta hein Norton Anti virus.... Software hai jaha, Norton Antivirus hein vaha..."

Project Manager - I want the code today....
Programmer - 2 minutes
"Programmer ka kaam kare asaan, Duniya bhar me hai iski shaan...VB....VB.....VB"

Progect Manager - "Power objects is the secret of my programs"
Programmers - "Our programs"

Husband - Thak gaya hoon mein
Wife gives him instant coffee and says
To create instant miracle....Use Oracle !

Jeffrey Archer's "Not a penny more, not a penny less" is drafted on a great concept and story line is short, simple and keeps the reader interested through out.

Plot

One clever mastermind and self made millionaire, Harvey Metcalf turns from jobless young boy to multi millionaire in a very short span all with his own clever tactics, both legal and illegal. In the process he cheats several people in several ways. Four of his victims, who lost their lifetime money in a stock market scam masterminded by Harvey Metcalf team up and decide to beat Harvey in his own game. They draft ideas, finalize plans and work as a team to recover every penny they lost to Harvey including the expenses incurred while recovering the same. First hal of the novel is about Harvey's legal and illegal activities (which made him millionaire) and the rest is all about how those four men recovered their money

I did like reading the novel and finished it in 2 nights, some 4 hours each.

However I have spotted following weak points in the story line:
1. Stephen Bradley and team (victims of Harvey's Prospecta Oil scam ) were to recover every penny they lost; not a penny more, not a penny less. But while they return from James wedding they were still around 1.24 $ short. Is that not a deviation from their principle?

2. They successfully duped a Nobel laureate, a world famous Doctor, university Vice chancellor and a world famous painting. In real life it is very much unlikely that this amount of impersonation will go undetected

3. There was no counter plan by Harvey or anyone else while these men were cheating him. Had Harvey detected that he is being cheated and had there been some counter strategies the novel would have been more interesting to read. The story goes almost one sided.

4. The first Para of the novel says Harvey managed to earn a million illegally, legally and even managed to retain it. But since he lost his money to four of his victims, I'm wondering how is this sentence is justified

5. End of the novel: Prospecta prices soar again and those who bought Prospecta shares are now rich people. Stephen and team got more money than they had lost...Again a deviation from title...

6. When James tells the secret to Anne or when he finds that Anne and Rosaline are same I was expecting this will backfire to their plan at some point (as it happens in Bollywood movies) but nothing happened as such. Rosa ended up being a silent witness to these four men robbing her dad (She even arranged $250000, may be all out of her love for James and in appreciation of these four men's efforts)

7. In Monte Carlo, when Harvey becomes ill (due to powder mixed in his coffee) and Harvey's driver demands "Where are you taking my boss?" Stephen tells "We're taking him to hospital; you go back to Yatch..." Why no one suspected "How did Stephen know about Yatch"?

What I liked

Still I like the novel for following reasons

1. Tells you about stock market scams: How some people mastermind scams, manipulate share prices, make money and render several small scale investors penniless in the process

2. Never give up. If you loose something there ought to be a way to get it back. The spirit of Stephen Bradley and his team is highly motivating experience

3. Simple, straight forward narration and not a lengthy novel. Makes interesting reading through out.

Complex poor joke

Question:Whatz a PJ ?
Answer: Obviously "a poor joke"
Question: Whatz a (P + i J)?
Answer: "complex poor joke"
But why don't people laugh on a "complex poor joke" ?
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.
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Ans: Bcoz the joke part of it is imaginary.

Sardarji Interviews....

INTERVIEWER : Tell Me Opposite Of GOOD .

Sardar : BAD

INTERVIEWER : COME ??

Sardar : GO

INTERVIEWER : UGLY?

Sardar : PICHLLI

INTERVIEWER : U-G-L-Y ?

Sardar : PICHLLI

INTERVIEWER : SHUT UP

Sardar : KEEP TALKING

INTERVIEWER : GET OUT

Sardar : COME IN

INTERVIEWER : OH MY GOD

Sardar : OH YOUR DEVIL

INTERVIEWER : U R REJECTED

Sardar : I M SELECTED

Balle Balle !!!

Strong teeth & Fresh breath !!

Do u want strong teeth & fresh breath ?????????


Try this ::::: Go to your main gate and than call me on my cell. Try this for atleast 2 weeks for better results.

Reason :::: When u try the above activity ur teeth will find that u r doing "colgate" !!!

Deadly maths shayari...enjoy

sin (theta) upon cos (theta) = tan (theta)....
sin (theta) upon cos (theta) = tan (theta).........



tan ki shakti man ki shakti bornvita !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marketing

WAT WOULD U CALL A GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO USED TO KILL PEOPLE AND THEN RING A BELL ON THEM........????





ANS:- MAR-KE-TING (MARKETING)

Pepe jeans

why r the rates of pepe jeans accessories high?????????????????/




coz its "pay pay" jeans...to have to pay double...lol

Ulimate mindcracker

Arz kiya hai!!!!
Tere pyaar mein paagal ho gaya peter...
Tere pyaar mein paagal ho gaya peter...
Hero Honda assi(80) km prati litre!!!

It's Cricket time...

Two batsmen each on 94 Runs. 7 Runs needed to win from 3 balls. Both make unbeaten 100 Runs.
HOW? This challenging question was asked in infosys interview. Try it out.

Calendar 1752

I was shocked looking at this. Aren't u?

Have u ever seen the calendar for September 1752??


If you are working in Unix, try this out.
At $ prompt, type: cal 9 1752

Surprised??? ?

not only in Unix, u can also search it in Google

See the explanation for what you see.
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.
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Isn't the output queer? A month with whole of eleven days missing. This was the time England shifted from Roman Julian Calendar to the Gregorian Calendar, and the king of England ordered those 11 days to be wiped off the face of the month of September of 1752. (What couldn't a King do in those days?!) And yes, the workers worked for 11 days less, but got paid for the entire 30 days. And that's how "Paid Leave" was born.Hail the King!!!

BALANCE SHEET OF LIFE

Our Birth is our Opening Balance!
Our Death is our Closing Balance!
Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities
Our Creative Ideas are our Assets

Heart is our Current Asset
Soul is our Fixed Asset
Brain is our Fixed Deposit
Thinking is our Current Account

Achievements are our Capital
Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade
Friends are our General Reserves
Values & Behavior are our Goodwill
Patience is our Interest Earned
Love is our Dividend
Children are our Bonus Issues
Education is Brands / Patents

Knowledge is our Investment
Experience is our Premium Account
The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet Accurately.
The Goal is to get the Best Presented Accounts Award.

Some very Good and Very bad things ...
The most destructive habit........ .......... ......Worry
The greatest Joy......... .......... ........... ....Giving
The greatest loss........Loss of self-respect

The most satisfying work........ ......Helping others
The ugliest personality trait....... .....Selfishness Error! Filename not specified.
The most endangered species..... ...Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource.... ......... ..Our youth

The greatest 'shot in the arm'........ Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome.... ......... ..Fear
The most effective sleeping pill....... Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease...... .......Excuses

The most powerful force in life......... ........... Love
The most dangerous act...... .A gossip
The world's most incredible computer.... .....The brain
The worst thing to be without..... ......... ..... Hope

The deadliest weapon...... ........ ........The tongue
The two most power-filled words....... ........ 'I Can'
The greatest asset........ ........... ........ ....Faith
The most worthless emotion.... .......... ....Self- pity

The most beautiful attire...... .......... ........SMILE!
The most prized possession.. ......... ......Integrity
The most powerful channel of communication. ...Prayer
The most contagious spirit....... ......... ......Enthusiasm

Life ends; when you stop Dreaming,
Hope ends; when you stop Believing,
Love ends; when you stop Caring,
And Friendship ends; when you stop Sharing...!!!

I bet u will laugh...

Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.

SCENE: The Oval Office. George Bush and Condolezza Rice.
George: Condi! Nice to see you What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Let's hear it.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I''m asking you Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu..
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu
George: The Chinese?
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya?asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well,I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That''s the man's name.
George: That's whose name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes sir.
George: Yassir? You mean arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. I bet he knows.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.. and then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: Call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N .?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: and stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N!
Condi: Kofi?
George: all right! Light with sugar. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice here..
George: Rice? Good idea. and a couple of egg rolls,too.

Make Your CV like this ...